Have You Completely Lost It??

I felt like I'm obliged to write something because it has been awhile now from when I had vanished and I feel like I owe everyone an apology. Don't even get me started so as to where I was, because I'll start rambling again. Long story short, I'm here now and hopefully here to stay. Enough of that now.

So, a year passed away into oblivion. Everything changed yet somehow nothing did. There's this spider-web on a Hibiscus plant on my rooftop garden, it has been there for a year or so from about the last fall. Ever seen raindrops on a spiderweb, seem like tiny diamonds. They used to remind me of the tiny droplets dangling from the lush pine trees in a park on my way to college. Memories and nostalgia studded onto coniferous leaves by the dark clouds. Locked up and away, it reminded me of someone who I believed was my only home. Last year during autumn I was collecting dried leaves, close to the twilight; the time Japanese people believe to be the hour of unnatural. 

When my eyes were drawn towards the sider-web due to sudden movement. It was indeed the spider. Tearing down several parts of the old web. Tiny balls of spider web were scattered around. I stared at her and her broken home with awe. "Why did she do that?" was my query. By now the sun had set. It would soon be dark, will she now climb onto a nearby plant and rebuild her web. I continued looking at her, now in a hurry. To my disbelief, she started to rebuild whatever was left of the old web. Soon it was dark and I climbed down from the rooftop. But next day I made sure to check if she was there. I knew what I wanted; even now I want it, though maybe bit more. 

Now the spider isn't there anymore, nor are the gentle raindrops in the dry chilly winter. Her little empty home still stares back at me reminding me how we can influence change as well as how change influences us. And as for me, I realized I just had to rebuild my home. Otherwise I was already home.

Fall

In the autumn,
Dried leaf asks
For reassurance
From the tree.
"Everything will be
Alright" says he.
Knowing well that
Truth will lead to
Her earlier demise.
Holding her closely,
Unable to let go; for
She was a part of him.
Turning from green
To yellow, to red;
Meanwhile scared to
Death. Winter arrives,
"You're yet the one"
He says. She sighs
In relief hoping to
Last forever for he
Appears to love her
Even in her worse.
The winds make
Him let go easing
His pain for so long.
Gently she bids farewell.
"Everything will be fine"
He reassures himself.
Dried red leaves
Dance quite well.
Little do others know.
Startled by beauty spell.

- Annushka Dey 

It isn't fall just yet, but each moment brings us closer to it. But, then again we rebuild and everything suddenly makes so much sense. After all there's no joy without sorrow.